apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
