Can Purell be used as lube?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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