you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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