I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
