yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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