I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize