READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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