what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
