where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
