In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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