So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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