Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
