I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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