check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
