you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
