Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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