When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
