I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
