There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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