She is in my trunk
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
