3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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