her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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