You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
