Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
