Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
