Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
