I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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