Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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