We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She has the best kind of daddy issues
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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