i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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