He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
