I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
