Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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