Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
