I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Need sex. Gaining weight.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize