if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
