That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
