Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
