i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
