i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
