please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
