He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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