I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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