I puked a lego.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
