I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
