I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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