As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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