Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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