Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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