1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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