I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
