I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I need water and some morals
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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