Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
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I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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