I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
