brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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