I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
