I could have mohawked her pubes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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