he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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