How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize