Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
