More tranny stories later!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
