He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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