He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
